Fear of death

September 26, 2021

I'm trying to bring back myself. To me, that share things on my head, as easy as blowing air out of your mouth. It's as easy as typing it here and letting you read it. Hey, hope you enjoyed your day before we going far to sit down because this gonna take a long time to read. Be ready.

Fear of death. Are you fear of death? Like death can happen any time, it can take you any time, people surrounded you, like anyone and anytime?

I am one of those people who fear death. Fear of falling on me or taking from the people I care about. As if I wasn't ready. Leaving or being abandoned is a heavy burden, don't you think?

On the other hand, having a fear of dying is good. If I don't say sorry today, I might not have another chance. If I don't say it now, then there won't be another chance. As if between now or never. When you think about later, are you sure there is still time for later?

Sometimes just thinking about it makes me sad and cry. What if I go and leave the world, will the people I leave behind will give up. I don't want to see my children grow up without me, I'm selfish I know. 

Vice versa. If the person I love leaves I will blame why the world is unfair. I can't guarantee to be the same person if a part of me is gone. 

Sometimes I'm just kidding, am I thinking this way because I've had too much caffeine? I do also often think seriously. Is this the counting days feeling of the angel of death who is already there and watching behind us? Hmmm, I don't know.

I even felt nervous and scared as I typed this and let you read it. I'm afraid to affect you. Don't worry, like I said, having fear is important. With fear, your preparation is more mature.

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