The easier we think, the easier it feels

January 20, 2020

Hi there, how are you? Wishing you always have a good day wherever you are. It's 2am in the middle of Jakarta city, cars on the road are still calm, the next few hours will be jammed and I will be part of it. Like a kaleidoscope, I can see the moment when I started everything here.

My husband slept already, he has a slight fever and I just finished my deck presentation for this evening. Even in this second, I don't believe I wrote a 'husband'. Damn, I'm married.

Life feels like a roller coaster, right?

2019 means a lot to me, that year captured many moments as part of the process I grow up. Broken heart, achieved, turning 24, and married. In my kaleidoscope, e year ago, I'm still living in my small room which only 2x3 meters and no AC but bedroom and toilet only. In the same year, I experienced watch and touched the snow for the first time. The same year, I got dumped by ex and marry the man I am destined for.

I don't make decisions carelessly. Of course, I think more than twice. Am I choosing the right decision? What if this what if that. I still have plenty of targets, a brain full of dreams with execution challenges. I won't give up on them.

Age, we often get stuck with age. I'm too old for this, I'm too young for this. If at this age, 24, I still watch Spongebob, why not? If at this age, I'm married and plan to have a beautiful family and get a wonderful career at the same time, why not?

The easier we think, the easier it feels. You never know if you never try. 

I'm still struggling to have a wonderful career, learn how to be a good wife, and always remember my mother at home. Last part it's not easy, I missed her, but I often forgot to call her every day just to ask how are you, mom. Hope you wherever you are, don't forget to say hi to people who raised and loved you. Sometimes people leave without saying goodbye.

Still a long journey. What is happening now, be inspired. Not now does not mean you have not achieved it. Wake up, you've been through a lot. Don't give up on your dreams, start from the smallest things. I'm nothing and I'm still struggling to be able to buy things that I like, to get things I deserved.

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