When people change, do they grow up?

by - September 13, 2020


Hi there, how are you? Hope you doing well. Such a template greeting email that I used to work. But, really, I really hope you doing well wherever you are.

It has been a few months since I didn't sit down, enjoying my coffee cup, starring my laptop, finger dancing on my keyboard, and wrote what's on my mind. Basically, I have a lot of thought, when I take a poop, when I cleaning my house, even before I sleep. But it's just recorded in my mind. 


My stomach getting bigger. There's a baby boy there, maybe next 1 month I will be officially a mom. A mom! Wish me luck to get along with the process. 


There's a moment where I shoot a question to my self. "Hi dear, how's your feeling now?"


I took a deep breath. A lot of changes happen during one year.


A married, being a wife, living with my husband's family, work from home during pregnancy, cleaning the house, thinking about what's next that exactly will happen. 


Well, I mean, when I was single, I just being someone that so ambitious to something that unclear. The power of ambition itself was stronger than the purpose that it's defined. "Yeah, well, the thing is, I want to be someone that success. Working in a reputable company, drinking $5 coffee cup every morning, buy clothes that make me fashionable, hangout many friends, popular, etc." 


When I take a look at my old list, I understand that it just, maybe, a-standard mission when you're single. Just maybe, based on my experience, others might have different opinions though.


What now? How's life after marriage? 


Do I become more mature than before? Not really, well it depends. Not that fast to be mature enough to build a new family, adjusting with something that exactly new in your life. The reason you changed, I think it's more into based on what responsibility you have.


I responsible for being a wife, make sure the house always clean. Responsible for being mom-to-be, taking care of my own health for my baby. Responsible for my work to keep earning the money. Responsible for my self, to be happier to be able to take care of everything. 


Nothing is easy. No matter when you're single or married. Everyone has their own struggle. You don't need to marry if you want to be more mature or following the grow up process of being a human. Just be who you are. 


I quietly feel the gap between when I was single and married. Back then, when I was a single as I told you, you really have a huge ambition but an unclear purpose. So that's why you will have that youth-vibe, you want to explore anything, mingle with anyone, like a glass, you think that you can fill it with any source of water to fulfill it. 


When you're married. The purpose is clearer, very very template married-people mission. "I want to build a happy family, earn enough money, maintain a good reputation, simplify every process."


Simplify the purpose and enjoy the process, that's what I learned. Again, what I'm trying to say, doesn't mean you need to marry first to enjoy this kinda process. Just like a cigarette advertising tagline, "Enjoy the process bro".

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