Carolina Lidya's Room

because every story is worth to tell


Hi there, how are you? Hope you doing well, wherever you are. Far from you, I guess there's a person who miss you a lot but can't say nothing but pray. I'm not lying, because I might be the one of who always praying to someone without telling ém.

Its almost 00.00 AM and I can't sleep. No matter how hard I close my eyes and pray before sleep. This words always whispering in my head. So yeah, I gave up. I let my body woke up and open this laptop, let my finger type in and last, let my heart talks toward this words. 

When we're talk about what we need and what we want, it's not easy to define or choose both. Somehow we don't know exactly what we need and what we want. 

Can you imagine, if you have one movie ticket but it can be applied on different movie in the same time. One horror movie and romance movie, which one do you need most? Which one do you want to see the most? 

I have single story of mine.

I remember that night, in one of mall in Jakarta. I was waiting my friend complete her shopping in supermarket, why I'm not joining her? Because I'm broke. I don't have enough money to buy anything except food. And I just standing in front of the cashier area, across me, I saw bakery shop. 

I was hungry. I can't resist. I distract my stomach voice by reading stories in Wattpad but its not working. I started to stare the bakery shop again, and back to my phone screen. And it happens again. For many times, I tried to walk and visit the bakery shop. Finally.

I only have 15k cash. Yes, I admit it, I'm totally broke and I'm not lying. It's more than 45 minutes I'm waiting my friend and she doesn't comes out, I think she still busy with her stuff and maybe standing for queued at the cashier. I don't care, the thing is, I have to deal with my hungry tummy.

My eyes visits to greentea donuts, oh God, I still remember the picture in my head. Second, I saw bread similiar with "Roti Boy" or "Roti O". I want greentea donut so bad, like really really bad. But its too small, it just only one or two bite and gone. And then I stare to another bread, I don't really want it, but I know it can help my hunger. 

With my limited cash, I have to choose one of them. I spent 5 minutes to think by staring of each, which one I want to buy. I do really want you, my greentea donut, but sorry I have to pick the bread with big size one to fulfilled my hunger :(

And that's simple story. I have to sacrifice what I want for something what I need based on what I have. 

Got my point?

So yes. Think twice before defining what you really need the most or something you want that sparkling in your eyes. This case can be applied on many cases. Not only for defining what food you need to choose for your hunger, but more than that. It can be for your career, your relationship stories, and many more.

About choosing career, its not about what you really want. Everybody needs money, yes. But does money answer all your question? Does money can buy happiness just like what Jessie said on Price Tag song?

Choosing career its about investing your capability in time. Don't worry for what you've done now, you've done great anyway. As long as you know and realize you doing well, go ahead. But if you know you're doing wrong, get up and fix it.

Last, how to define what you need and what you want in relationship. Most of us already create our dream boyfriend or girlfriend, some people want beautiful and handsome one and else. But at the end, we will find what we really need to be with us. Not with the fancy car, not with popular one, not with up to 5k follower on Instagram, or not with the most handsome or beautiful. 

But just simple one, with super clumsy, ordinary, not really beautiful but sweet, and some one who really beyond expectation that can make single smile on our face. And that's it, that's what you really need :)

Hopefully with this words, it can warms your heart. From here, I'm wishing you have wonderful journey with your defining--what you need the most or what you want :)
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From bottom of my heart, I'm wishing you have a great day. I know today maybe not a good day for you, but I believe everything will be fine when you smile. Yes, that's smile, so cute. Please smile again for me :)

Namanya juga manusia. Kadang gak bisa luput sama yang namanya kesalahan. Kadang kita lupa minta maaf ketika menyenggol orang saat di jalan, juga lupa sadar kalau punya salah dalam berucap. Parahnya, ada yang salah dan mereka gak perlu repot-repot minta maaf ke kita.

Dua-duanya nyebelin. Punya salah tapi gengsi mau minta maaf, atau disakiti tapi boro-boro mereka minta maaf. Dua-duanya bikin kzl beud gitu deh.

Mau sampai kapan sih kita membiarkan kenangan buruk berlarut-larut? Kita bukan pemain sinetron Tukang Bubur Naik Haji kan? Jadi gak perlu lama-lama bikin drama. Brave to say sorry first even you're not wrong at all, doesn't make you a coward kok. Justru kamu itu pecundang ketika udah tau salah, gengsi mau minta maaf.

It's just a bad day lah, not a bad life. 

Semua pasti berlalu.

Cerita kemarin pasti tergantikan dengan cerita besok. Move on. Lagipula, yang tau terbaik untuk dirimu sendiri ya cuma kamu. Bukan guru ngajimu, bukan papa mama, bahkan bukan pacar atau gebetanmu atau siapapun itu.

Kan kita bukan malaikat. Gak bisa terbang dan juga gak bisa selalu benar. Apapun hal buruk yang terjadi kemarin, coba deh maafkan dirimu dulu. The best thing to be sincere, forgive yourself before the others.

Siapapun kamu, yang lagi baca ini. Aku percaya kamu berhak mendapatkan apa yang daridulu kamu inginkan. Mungkin gak bisa hari ini, tapi besok masih menjanjikan. Ini cuma hari yang buruk, bukan kehidupan yang buruk dan berlarut-larut.

Don't worry, time will always forgive you. There is always another chance waiting for you. Jangan sedih ya, masih ada besok untuk bisa diperbaiki. Percaya deh :)

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Gak jarang kita mendengar orang mengakhiri pidatonya dengan kata-kata "Yaa kalau ada kata-kata yang kurang berkenan, saya minta maaf" sebelum pamit undur diri. 

First of all, I just want say sorry if my words that spoken or written by me ever hurt you. I do really never mean it to hurt you. Maaf kalau ada kata-kata yang sempat menyinggungmu tanpa kusadari. Percaya lah, I never mean to hurt anyone.

Karena, gak banyak orang tau, bahwa kata-kata kadang lebih tajam daripada pisau. Parahnya, mereka gak sadar atas apa yang mereka katakan menyinggung perasaan orang lain. Tanpa perlu repot-repot bilang minta maaf.

Ternyata rada sakit gimana gitu ya setelah dapat perkataan yang tidak kita sukai, diucapkan oleh orang paling dekat. We can't resist the pain. Pretty hurt ya.

But back again. People just people. We made mistake, we apologize, we regret, and we can't turn back time.

Walaupun, words could be sharpen than a knife, hopefully gak membuat kamu down. We should respect what people said, their opinion, their thoughts. Its pretty hard to accept it, tapi anggap aja kata-kata yang sempat melukaimu adalah pelajaran paling berharga.

Bahwa ternyata kamu pernah salah, ada sesuatu dalam dirimu yang perlu kamu perbaiki. Yes, I admit it if I made mistake. And I do apologize if I made mistake.

Take a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry", itu bukan kata-kata yang sulit untuk diucapkan kan? "I'm sorry, I made mistake. Please forgive me"

Cuma mau kasih tau, dalam kesempatan apapun, pertimbangkan kata-kata yang akan kamu sampaikan. We can't turn back time ya. Kalau pun kamu menyadari ada yang salah dengan perkataan yang sudah kamu ucapkan, minta maaflah segera.

Sepele. Words can be sharpen than a knife, but also words can be so powerful enough to make people life again :)
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Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash
Hai kamu yang gak sengaja mampir ke sini. Apa kabar? Semoga dimana pun kamu berada, kamu baik-baik saja. Jangan khawatir, jauh di sana, ada yang mendoakan kebaikanmu tanpa kamu sadari :)

Hmm rada gimana ya kalo pas mau nulis tentang beginian, auto pengen kasih opening "lets talk about cheesy thing" sama seperti postingan sebelumnya. Lalu kupikir lagi, it's not cheesy. It's precious and special when we talk about relationship. Benar begitu?

Di usia 20an emang hubungan asmara itu sedang diuji ya. Single kelamaan dibilang gak laku, punya pacar tapi berantem terus dibilang udah putus aja, apalagi yang punya hubungan tanpa status. Relationship is complicated, right? 

But, people still.

Tapi orang masih tetap melanjutkan sebuah hubungan tanpa repot-repot menebak jawaban apa yang akan terjadi selanjutnya.

Dia itu unik. "Dia" yang pernah atau sedang mengganggu pikiranmu. Kadang dia terlihat lucu sampai bikin ketawa geli. Kadang dia cukup mempesona untuk bikin cuplikan imajinasi tentangnya. Kadang dia satu-satunya yang bikin mood harimu membaik, sekaligus dia satu-satunya yang membuat harimu hancur.

Banyak orang yang mengaku punya gengsi tinggi, tapi disisi lain hatinya rapuh. Terlalu rapuh untuk mengatakan tidak, rapuh untuk tak lagi memberikan kesempatan kedua dan rapuh untuk membuka logika lebih lebar.

Banyak orang yang mempertanyakan, apa yang kamu perjuangkan? Dia? Dasar sumbu pendek, ucap mereka.

Apa boleh buat, kalau perasaan sudah berkata maka tak ada indera lain yang bisa mengelak. When you love someone, kamu jadi lebih bisa menghargai orang lain dan waktu, sampai lupa menghargai diri sendiri.

For every youth out there. Untuk kamu yang sedang memperjuangkan sebuah hubungan, perjuangkan selama itu membuat perasaanmu lebih baik. Waktumu tak banyak, usiamu bertambah. Lagipula, broken heart is not a choice, it's a moment when you can reflect yourself and get up. Sometime, to get up, we just need little bit broken heart to release what painful means.

Membangun komitmen untuk bersama, it's never gonna be easy. Kamu akan belajar memahami, menerima, dan ikhlas. Ada yang pernah bilang ''udah jalani aja, nothing to lose" kenyataannya malah "many things to lose". 

Love is beautiful. Maybe you laugh and think this is stupid word. But, if you're in love, you can't say anything. 

Baca tulisanku lainnya:
1000 "Catatan Hubungan Jarak Jauh"
About a girl and marriage
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